Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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