Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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