This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
