We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sext me about skeletons
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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