please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
