My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
