I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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