I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
