Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!