He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
