Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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