I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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