Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
