He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
