Say something about gay babies.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
