fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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