Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
