Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
please come you make the beer taste better
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
