How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
