dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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