She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
