She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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