just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
