Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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