i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
