hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
