Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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