using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
