I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
