I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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