Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
