Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
