so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
God, I missed his penis.
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