Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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