Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
