I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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