I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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