just come out here and I will go home with you...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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