I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
