yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
