Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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