Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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