They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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