every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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