Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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