I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
