hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The adults are the big ones right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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