My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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