I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
