Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just gargled with NyQuil
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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