I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
