So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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