he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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