i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
