Don't make out with my wife yet
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
