so that wasnt chicken after all
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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