Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
