so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
