i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
